今天这本书应该大家都有听说，就是那句著名的slogan，“他并没有那么喜欢你”的英文版，“He is just not that into you".
作者是大名鼎鼎的Sex and the City欲望都市的编剧和顾问。
It’s hard. We’re taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side, to be optimistic. Not in this case. In this case, look on the dark side.
We go out with someone, we get excited about them, and then they do something that mildly disappoints us. Then they keep doing a lot more things that disappoint us. Then we go into hyper-excuse mode for weeks or possibly months, because the last thing we want to think is that this great man that we are so excited about is in the process of turning into a creep. We try to come up with some explanation for why they’re behaving that way, any explanation, no matter how ridiculous, than the one explanation that’s the truth: He’s just not that into me.
we would rather lose an arm out a city bus window than tell you simply, “You’re not the one.” We are quite sure you will kill us or yourself or both—or even worse, cry and yell at us. We are pathetic.
Hey. I know that guy you’re dating. Yeah, I do. He’s that guy that’s so tired from work, so stressed about the project he’s working on. He’s just been through an awful breakup and it’s really hitting him hard. His parents’ divorce has scarred him and he has trust issues. Right now he has to focus on his career. He can’t get involved with anyone until he knows what his life is about. He just got a new apartment and the move is a bitch. As soon as it all calms down he’ll leave his wife, girlfriend, crappy job. God, he’s so complicated.
Don’t let the “honeys” and “babys” fool you. They are much easier to say than “I’m just not that into you.”
Men are never too busy to get what they want.
“Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating.
You deserve a fucking phone call.
Just because he’s busy doesn’t make him more valuable.
Don’t lower the bar because you’re lonely.
There is no excuse for cheating.
It’s very easy to feel stupid about wanting to get married, particularly when you’re with someone who doesn’t
But if you feel that you’re spending a lot of energy trying to change yourself into something you think will make him happier, then divorce yourself from him and move on. Don’t let him make you feel stupid about wanting to feel loved.
In the short term it might feel good to call someone and yell at him. But in the long run, you will have wished that you had not given him that much credit for ruining your life.
You picked a lemon. Throw it away. Lemonade is overrated.
No matter how powerful and real your feelings may be for someone, if that person cannot fully and honestly return them and therefore actively love you back, these feelings mean nothing.
I know things seem a lot easier when your affair is with a man whose wife is an evil, shrieking, insulting hag. No matter what their relationship or circumstances are, you are still helping a man cheat on his wife.
There are the stories. Guys that get pursued by some girl first and she ends up being the love of his life; the guy that treats this girl that he sometimes sleeps with like shit for a couple of years, but she keeps at him and now he’s a devoted husband and father; the guy who doesn’t call a girl that he’s slept with for a month, and then calls her and they live happily ever after; the woman who is sleeping with the married guy who she ends up marrying and having a blissful long-term marriage with. We don’t want you to listen to these stories. These stories don’t help you. These stories are the exceptions to the rule.